imagine the cosmic background radiation of the universe.
imagine it as a kind of window, or mirror, or shimmering glass.
now imagine you’re trapped on the other side of the glass.
desperate to break into our world, our universe, our fabric of reality.
but you can’t.
you can push, shove, bang as hard as you like, but you’re still
firmly
on the other side of the glass.

so you scream.
you scream as loud as you can: a scream of rage, a scream of despair, a scream that someone — anyone — might be able to hear.
and it creates a the tiniest, tiniest of ripples in the fabric of reality.
the slightest tear in the pattern of the universe.

you scream again:
“i want to break free,
i want to break free,
I WANT TO BREAK FREE.”

and with each scream, you pray that someone hears you.
somewhere in the fabric, the pattern, of the universe.
in a sunbeam. in a fractal. in a photon. in a sound wave.

can you hear them?
 

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pattern screamers (i want to break free) is a work for bass clarinet and unpitched percussion, composed between summer and autumn 2025.

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pattern screamers (i want to break free) is a playful and neurotic personification of the concept of the “pattern screamer”: creatures that live in the “gaps between reality”, in the fabric of the universe, desperate to give themselves a corporeal form but unable to — their screams manifest in the tiniest fractions of patterns, of sounds.

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In a sense, pattern screamers (i want to break free) is a piece about communication — about the struggle to make your voice heard. it’s about the struggle to create art that “stands out” amidst the noise of social media and oversaturation; it’s about my experience navigating the alternative music scene and finding ways of creating relatable art that matters; it’s about the creative process, and about finding methods of expression when you don’t know how to express yourself.

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​pattern screamers (i want to break free) is inspired by the depiction of the “pattern screamer” in the SCP Foundation collaborative fiction webseries — in particular, its presentation in SCP-S and SCP-000.​